🐶My Dog Tried Online Dating (And Got More Matches Than Me)

 One evening, while I was swiping through dating apps with the confidence of a soggy potato chip, my dog Rufus jumped up and tapped the screen with his nose.

Swipe right.

Boom. It was a match.

I laughed. Then he did it again. Another match.

Long story short, I made Rufus his own profile as a joke:

  • Name: Rufus

  • Age: 4 (28 in dog years—mature but playful)

  • Hobbies: Chasing things that don’t move, existential barking at 3 AM, long walks to the fridge.

Within 24 hours, Rufus had 37 matches.
I had... 2. And one of them unmatched me after I admitted I couldn’t do a backflip.

People were sending him messages like:

  • “You have kind eyes.”

  • “I’d love to meet up for pup-cakes.”

  • “Are you neutered? (Just wondering.)”

Rufus now has dates scheduled on 3 separate dog parks. I drive him. I hold his poop bags. I'm his chaperone.

Moral of the story?
In this world, even your dog can do better on dating apps than you. Stay humble.

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